Understanding and Following Directions

Written By Adriana Wheeler

From getting ready in the morning to participating in school, following directions is a skill children use every day.

Whether it's hearing, "Please put your shoes on," or following a teacher's instructions during class, this skill helps children navigate daily routines, learn new concepts, and participate more independently.

At The Mustard Seed Behavioral Health, we believe following directions isn't about teaching blind compliance. It's about helping children understand expectations, develop independence, and build the skills they need to succeed in everyday life.

What Does It Mean to Follow Directions?

Following directions involves several important skills working together, including:

  • Listening or attending to information.

  • Understanding language.

  • Remembering what was said.

  • Organizing the steps.

  • Completing the task.

  • Asking questions if something isn't clear.

For some children, these skills develop naturally. For others, they may require extra teaching, practice, and support.

Following Directions Is More Than Obedience

A child who doesn't follow a direction isn't necessarily being defiant.

There are many reasons why a child may have difficulty, including:

  • They didn't hear the instruction.

  • The direction had too many steps.

  • They didn't understand the words.

  • They were focused on something else.

  • They were feeling overwhelmed or dysregulated.

  • They needed more processing time.

  • The environment was distracting.

Before assuming a child is refusing, it's helpful to ask:

"Do they have the skills they need to be successful in this moment?"

Make Directions Clear and Simple

Children often do better when directions are short and specific.

Instead of:

"Can you clean up this entire room?"

Try:

"Please put the blocks in the bin."

Then continue with the next step after that one is complete.

Breaking large tasks into smaller, manageable pieces helps children experience success while reducing frustration.

Visual Supports Can Make a Big Difference

Many children benefit from seeing directions instead of only hearing them.

Visual supports might include:

  • Picture schedules

  • First/Then boards

  • Checklists

  • Written lists

  • Visual timers

  • Step-by-step picture sequences

Visuals remain available after words are spoken, giving children an opportunity to reference them as needed.

Give Processing Time

After giving a direction, try waiting a few seconds before repeating it.

Some children need extra time to:

  • Process language.

  • Shift attention.

  • Plan their response.

  • Begin the task.

Giving that extra wait time can increase independence and reduce the need for repeated prompts.

Celebrate Success

Notice and praise when your child follows directions successfully.

You might say:

  • "You listened the first time!"

  • "You remembered both steps!"

  • "Thank you for putting your shoes away."

  • "You worked really hard to finish that."

Specific praise helps children understand exactly what they did well.

Practice Through Play

Following directions doesn't have to feel like work.

Many fun activities naturally build this skill, including:

  • Simon Says

  • Scavenger hunts

  • Obstacle courses

  • Building with blocks

  • Cooking together

  • Dance and movement games

  • Arts and crafts

When learning is playful, children are often more engaged and motivated.

It's Okay to Ask Questions

One of the most important skills children can learn is recognizing when they don't understand.

Teach your child that it's okay to say:

  • "Can you say that again?"

  • "Can you show me?"

  • "What do I do first?"

  • "I need help."

Asking for clarification is a strength—not a weakness.

A Final Thought

Following directions is about more than completing a task.

It's about understanding, problem-solving, communicating, and building independence.

When children are given clear expectations, meaningful support, and opportunities to practice, they gain confidence in their ability to navigate the world around them.

Every successful direction followed is another step toward greater independence.

🌱 The Mustard Seed Way

At The Mustard Seed Behavioral Health, we believe every child is capable of learning when expectations are clear, supports are individualized, and communication is compassionate.

Rather than expecting perfect compliance, we focus on helping children understand what is being asked, advocate when they need support, and build the confidence to become increasingly independent.

Because true success isn't simply following directions—it's understanding them, feeling supported, and believing, "I can do this." 🌳

Adriana Wheeler
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Expanding Expressive Language